Are you ready for inner change and transformation?

“Expansion here refers to situations when you try something new, succeed at something you’ve never done before, stop a self-destructive habit, speak up in your own defense, recognize a truth about yourself, take on a new responsibility, and so on. The expansion is a shift in your sense of who you are or who you have taken yourself to be: who you are becomes a little bigger, includes a little more than it did before.”

-Byron Brown

Real change is always an ongoing possibility. Yet how many of us live that reality? Isn’t it more the case we feel pretty much the same year in year out…? And, despite our greatest efforts, we don’t really experience positive and lasting expansive change?

Maybe we don’t believe that change and expansion are really possible? That makes sense in this world where we tend to see ourselves as bio-machines, a world-view that sees human life as more akin to that of a computer than an actual living being.

For those ready for some expansion, a question that I suggest asking is what keeps you stuck? What is it that maintains the status quo of your life?

Inner change and development of ourselves is an exciting possibility. It brings a change in the sense of who you are, expanding what you feel yourself to be…yet why is it such a rare experience?

One main obstacle to inner transformation is the inner judge. Couple that with rigid faulty beliefs and a restrictive world view and there is little hope of all our hard work bringing a lasting change. However, there is secret few have realised. The key to inner transformation is not just in the effort we apply but in removing the barriers to change.

Working directly with the inner judge is not easy or a quick fix but if you stick with it it loosens the bonds that keep us stuck, the prison bars become more transparent, wider spaced, we can reach beyond the conditioned cage of our smallness, our self imposed tightness and misery. We can expand into a new feel of ourselves, doing things we never imagined and experiencing ourselves as fresh, expanded and vital.

A critical tool we must have on- board to help in this inner judge work is Focusing, and this in itself can take some time to get competent with. Focusing requires more than a weekend seminar as ultimately it needs to change our experience and our thinking about ourselves…it takes time to do this but once we have it we are well on the way to freeing ourselves from the inner judge. Lasting inner work that leads to change takes time. And effort, and needs to be supported.

In addition to the core skill of focusing, what we might term an inner-skill, we might also benefit from developing ourselves from an alternative perspective. For instance, if our inner critic is very dominant and feels crushing perhaps a dose of the Wim Hof Method can help forge a deep connection to our core sense of value. Feeling our value, the sense of the rightness of being ourselves is a great shield against any inner critic attack, and if such an attack even occurs it will slide off and leave us undaunted.

There other possible interventions that may suit a particular individual. It is essential to recognise that we are not all the same, each of us is unique and the choice of interventions will vary from person to person.

Finally, putting it all together so we actually do the practices, develop the skills and the subsequent confidence is no easy task. We all struggle in this department and many of us would benefit from a coach to support and guide us as we build the new muscles. Having a coach to enable to develop new habits is priceless and this applies as much to the development of inner or soft skills as the more exterior or hard skills. Whether we want to make deeper inner contact with ourselves or whether we want to improve our basketball technique, a coach is extremely beneficial.

In my approach to working with clients its imperative that I see you as an individual, different, and unique. From this perspective, you are free to allow yourself to discover what your needs are and how to go about meeting them. Working with you I offer a safe judgement free space to uncurl into, to discover your “more” and support you as you let those energies find fruition in your life. I call it the principal of You First.

If you are interested in exploring the possibilities for your life then get in touch with me and arrange a free 30-minute session.

www.RobCMatthews.com